Jumat, 05 November 2010

hazy

hello.
how are you pals? sorry for this quite long update.
*im not sure anyones watching my blog right now*
sorry for such hazy post lately,

im not in good condition. i tried to steps up, but yeah. everything seems push me to the edge. im totally tired and need a break or may be an end. it seems like i've lost all of motivation to live.

this feeling's increasingly hard to tell.
i go to sleep at the night and wishing i wont wake up anymore in morning and every morning i wake up with same bad feeling and say "omg, why am i still alive?" i go to class with no moods thought next week the mid-test will be held. i've touched no books, i've read no notes, and i think i've left my real life. im mostly sit up on my windows with coffe and guitar, coil up on my bed with ear phone in my ears, or on bathroom with packs of cigarettes. my bed time's moving. i sleep all the day and up all night. oh shit, what happen to me? god, dont you know this feeling lurk on my heart and consume me day by day? please take this feeling away. how can you be so callous to me!

i try so much to avoid knife and rope. the desire to end all of this easily comes everytime. im afraid if i would take permanent solution for all of temporary problems. yeah, my friend told me that every problems are just temporary. i hope he was true, tough im not so sure.
i give up on my life. now for me live just like waiting for the death. i wont hope anymore. cause i know hoping would leave nothing but pain. i wont believe god take so much care anymore. he never listen or at least try to listen to me. i wont do anything!

please anyone help me to find an escape from this condition. im sick of all this shit.

10 blabla(s):

didi-aNNa mengatakan...

hans, heartbroken?
or something else happen?
go on to live well, dear! <3

take your time.
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. ;))

p/s: if im rite, it a good advice if not just ignore it,k? :P

Gie mengatakan...

The time will erase the past, mas..
ayoklah semangat lagi :)

Gogo Caroselle mengatakan...

Hans,
kemarin ada orang baik yang bilang sama saya kita ga bisa minta orang lain untuk menemukan kebahagiaan kita. kita harus mandiri dan dapatkan sendiri.

this ups and down,
babe,
you are not alone.

whatever you feel, i feel it too. we're in this together remember? :) But life goes on, and suicide obviously wont answer anything, no matter how tempting it is...

Perhaps we just need to look straight you kno, just try, and if you failed, try harder... it's a battlefield. i want to win this. are you with me? :)

Lapak Mainan Online mengatakan...

typically teens..no offend ya hans :)

saya juga pernah muda (ceile..)
dan 3-4 tahun ke depan, kamu akan mentertawakan masa2 ini, percaya deh!

patah hati ada di mana-mana. kamu akan mendapatkan yang terbaik pada waktunya. kalau nasihat ini basi dan ga membantu, pergilah bersenang2 dengan beberapa teman. abisin duit gak papah, bulan depan kan gajian lagee!

Hans Brownsound ツ mengatakan...

didi:
nope di. just broke.
im so much better now.
:)
oh ya, about the prize, sorry for made u wait so long. im on midtest now. after that, i'll send it to you. haha x)

Hans Brownsound ツ mengatakan...

gita:
mudah-mudahan ya dek. :(
tapi susah banget buat move on ini. :(

Hans Brownsound ツ mengatakan...

gogo:
you got me smiling when i read ur comment go. :)
thanks alot for your support, thats really precious for me.
yap. ure right. we never been alone.

I'M WITH YOU! :)

Hans Brownsound ツ mengatakan...

mbak lapak mainan online *actually i dunno how to call you mbak. hehe*
thanks mbak.
im so much better now. :)
mudah-mudahan mbak bener ya. waktu akan mendatangkan orang yang tepat.
thanks ya mbak, im lucky to know ya.

Lapak Mainan Online mengatakan...

heh! saya kan mas-mas! heheh, nggak deeeng. perkenalkan hans, saya Fany, 30 thn, Ibu beranak 2; yg pertama perempuan - 4thn, yang kedua laki-laki - 7bln (gak penting yak?)
saya kapan2 ajarin ngedadanin blog ya, gaptek nih..

Hans Brownsound ツ mengatakan...

mbak fany:
gitu dong mbak. saya kan sekarang tau kalo nama mbak, mbak fani.
hehehe.
gak penting? gak penting gimana mbak. anak kok dibilang gak penting hehehe.
beres mbak, saya nggak ahli sih.tapi saya bantu deh sebisa saya :)

 

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